The Federal Express/Proctor and Gamble Halftime Report

A panel of three commentators, all male, all wearing dark suits and ties.  They are sitting at a desk with a large sports logo mounted on the front of it.

“Actually, if you think about how the season has gone for them so far, the games they’ve won have always been the games in which they scored more points than the opposing team.  That’s gotta be crucial.”

“Well, Bill, it’s OK to emphasize that as long as you don’t lose sight of the importance of DEE-fense.  DEE-fense is the key to a good game.  I bet if you reviewed the tapes from a bunch of the top games, you’d find that good DEE-fense is strongly correlated with outscoring the opposing team.”

“Hank, I couldn’t agree with you more, except I think Bill’s right that what it REALLY comes down to in the end is the outscoring.”

Behind the three commentators there is a pole, extending between a hole in the ceiling and a hole in the floor.  As they continue talking, Bruce suddenly appears and disappears again, sliding UP the pole, head downwards.

“Jeff, we all know how important outscoring is, but think about how many times Spencer has been sacked already this season!”

“That might seem relevant, but I’d say it’s really not…”

None of them notice as Bruce slides up through the studio ceiling and out of sight.

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